After We Have Loved
by artemissan09
Summary: MMHG. Okay, so this is a new plot and idea for the MMHG realm, and it's really been a challenge for me. Ignores books 6 and 7, and is set in Hermione's 7th year. Angst/Romance fic dedicated to my love...:
1. The Whoas of argument

**AN: Okay, this is a new fic that I have started. It is sad, and it is a new plot, and it is above all challenging…I hope you all enjoy it, and I really hope that this story brings you as much as it has brought to me…**

After We Have Loved

Ch.1

The "Whoas" of Argument

My parents, being muggles, are people of Faith…Faith in a higher power, and devoted followers of one Jesus Christ.

It was terribly difficult for them, when I received my Hogwarts' letter. Their religion does not tolerate such "dark magic." But I somehow managed to talk them into it. The agreement was I could go and learn such skills as long as I did not express interest at home.

So I worked hard at the finest of Wizarding Schools, hoping that somehow all my academic accomplishments would make them proud of me.

But try as I may, to my parents, (who had received top-notch education in the muggle world) I was only a disappointment.

My parents, being followers of the Christian Faith, believe that there is eternal life after the physical one is over. They also believe that any homosexual will most certainly _not_ find themselves in a heavenly eternity.

I, being their offspring, and also being brought up in two contradicting worlds, don't know exactly where to stand on this issue, and I am often scared and confused. I am unsure what to think, but I do know this…

I, Hermione Jane Granger, am in love.

Normally, parents and friends are the first to know of such joyous news, but there is one problem…

I am in love with one Minerva McGonagall, the most amazing woman and I have ever met…and the only person who has ever been able to capture my heart. It is the only secret I have ever kept from my parents, and it kills me that there is only one thing that I haven't told them…

But as our beautiful relationship grows more serious, I really want to tell them…Why, I can't exactly say, and this is why I am having great difficulty persuading my case.

"No, Hermione," Minerva replies for the sixth time. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

I sigh in frustration. We have been arguing about this for two weeks now, but I seem to be constantly on the losing end. "but Minerva, it's only going to make things easier," I plead.

But Minerva knows how to shoot back every arrow I send her way. "Easier?! You mean after your parents are dead and our lives have been miserable? I won't put you through that, Hermione." She explains as her tone softens.

Coming to yet another block in my search as my love wins by means of being extremely sweet, I can't help but smile. Mere inches from one another standing in her quarters, I decide that this battle deserves a happy ending.

I begin to inch closer to her seductive body with a determined predatory gleam in my eyes.

"Hermione…" She warns, backing up. "What are you doing?"

As of late, our love making has gone from young and hesitant to more confident and graceful.

"Nothing, dearest…" I reply as I continue to back her against the wall. 'I just want to win _something_ within the next century.' I think to myself as an encouraging afterthought.

"Hermione Jane, you will _not_ use sex as means of bribery!" She tries her best to command as every last bit of self-control leaves her. Her back makes a soft 'thud' as it meets the wall and she blinks in shock and a small amount of fear.

I am not usually this aggressive, but something seems to have pent up inside of me lately…maybe my frustration concerning our 'secret.'

"I have no intentions of bedding you to get what I want." I barely whisper, my breath warm against her neck.

When I have her full and undivided attention, as her arguments catch in her throat, I place a small kiss right below her ear. "I just want to torture you senseless until you are so lost you can't distinguish your body from the bed beneath it."

Her knees buckle at this rogue statement and a cheshire grin is visible upon my flushed face. "Oh, well in that case…" She manages to stammer as I continue my teasing kisses all along her neck and gorgeous collar bone.

"In that case, what…Minerva?" Her name basically rolls off my tongue much like a suppressed moan.

A sheen layer of sweat glistens on her brow as she begins to pant, just in the slightest way. "Oh gods, Hermione…Don't make me ask you…" She pleads.

Normally, I would just give in, but tonight is different. Tonight I want to see a side of Minerva that I know is there, just under her perfect demeanor. "Ask me what?" I whisper as my hands roam slowly down her torso, from the curve of her breasts down to her hips.

Her breath hitches and her hands grip my back tightly. "I want you to…" she hesitates. It seems Minerva McGonagall is not one to beg…But all that will change.

I squeeze her full breasts and even through her thick school robes I can feel her nipples form taught peaks. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, love…"

Minerva's head finds the wall hard and a heavy moan escapes from her mouth. I unbutton her robe and it falls to the floor. Beneath is a very professional looking white oxford and a straight, knee-length black skirt. 'How typical.' I think as she mumbles something incoherently.

Turning the pressure up, I slide my hand from her breast and up her skirt rather roughly. "What was that?" I question staring at the desperate features on her face.

Just when I think the woman can't take anymore, she begins to unbutton her blouse and shrugs it off to the floor nonchalantly to join her robe.

Raging with the tide of the moment, I slip my left hand into her bra while my right hand teases the hem of her panties.

She gasps as my cool bare hand meets the warm flesh of her breast. "To ummmm…I want you…" At this point in time, Minerva McGonagall is literally putty in my hands and I am enjoying every moment of being, for perhaps the first time, the sexual trump in this deck of foreplay.

"What, Minerva?!" I shout as I tentatively roll her left nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

She is in utter shock from the change of tone in my voice. "Don't you dare yell at me, you-"

"WHAT?! What do you want from me?" I yell as I cup her sex through her drawers.

"I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME INTO OBLIVION!" She releases when it all becomes too much.

I stop completely and she covers her mouth with her hands much like a child in horror would.

I smile and ask, "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

One look from her tells me I am in for the roughest pleasure of my life.

Good thing it is Friday and neither of us must hassle with classes tomorrow….

**AN2: Well, this is the first chapter. I have the second written, but is much more dramatic…Let me all know what you think so that I know whether to continue or not…**

**Much Love,**

**Ashton**


	2. No Greater Feeling

**AN: So here is the second chapter…The third is going rather slowly, but it should come along within a week. I hope that this story is turning out how I want it, and if you all have any suggestions, please let me know!!**

After We Have Loved

Ch. 2: No Greater Feeling

Saturday morning dawned and passed still with Minerva and me lying in bed. She has essays to mark and I have studying to do, but right now all that matters or exists to us is each other, clothed only with the sheets of the bed.

I finger her long tendrils of hair…Oh, that hair. It glows with all that is a goddess as does her smile, which has been present ever since waking up with my body so close to hers.

"Oh, Hermione, don't…It has got to be nothing short of filthy," she says as she takes my hand away from her hair and just caresses my palm instead.

"But I love you hair," I whisper as I roll onto my side so that we are now face to face.

She smiles broadly and interweaves our fingers. "And I love _you_."

The entirety of my body flushes and my stomach flips with excitement. "I love you too, Minerva."

She closes her eyes to soak up the moment, but the words that just left my lips haven't yet taken leave from my mind.

'Is it wrong, to love you?' My heart almost stops dead as my mind immediately answers, 'yes.'

"I need a shower, love," she says. "Care to join me?" Minerva adds playfully.

I put on as sincere a smile as I can. "As much as I would love to, I really have exams to study for. Catch you tomorrow?" comes my reply.

"Okay," she whispers and nods her head in understanding. It only makes me feel worse. She kisses my forehead lovingly and makes her way to the shower.

I lay in bed for a few minutes afterward with a pained heart and a troubled mind. It is extremely trying, to always have our heart betraying your mind and vice versa. I begin to wonder just what on Earth I'm doing when an owl perches on the sill of the tallest window in Minerva's quarters.

I wrap the sheet above my chest and walk to greet the bird. I untie the scarlet red parchment wrapped around its leg and stroke it gently before it takes flight quite hurriedly.

Deciding it best not to invade Minerva's personal communications, I lay the rolled letter on the pillow where my head had previously been resting.

I throw my clothes on and tie my hair back out of my face. I have a long day ahead of me, and I have a feeling that my thoughts will do nothing to improve this fact.

* * *

I have now bathed in the prefect's bathroom and managed to look half-way presentable in twenty minutes.

I am on my way to the library for some serious studying. Ron and Harry are supposed to be there as well, but seldom do they ever come. Quidditch, it seems, is top priority for the both of them. Not that I blame them, since they are both planning on playing professionally after school.

Despite the fact that I am alone, I enter the library only to find it extremely empty. I sit down at a large table and open my Ancient Runes book. As boring and tedious as this subject is, I really want to get good marks on my exams to send home to my parents. I really feel like giving out, but with the end of my seventh year approaching rapidly, I decide it best to hold out.

A half hour ticks by, and still no one has appeared. I find myself unable to focus as my mind wanders to my previous thoughts.

After another good while of reading the same page over and over, the doors of the library burst open and I jerk my head up to see who is so desperate to find a book on a Saturday. But my heart drops into my stomach as I see Minerva, tears streaming down her face and the red letter from this morning clenched in her hand.

I rush over to her as Irma peeks her head from behind the Restricted Section.

I wrap my arms around her slender frame as she collapses to the floor. I am terrified, at this point in time. I have never seen Minerva this way, and I don't know exactly what to do.

However, I do decide that the library is indeed _not_ the best place for this situation, and I coax her to her feet and we stagger to her quarters.

Thank goodness for Hogsmeade and sun outside on this day. The corridors are clear, and the only person we see is Severus, who has his head in a new Potions' book.

"Highland Harmony," I say as we arrive at the entrance to her quarters. Hearing this only sends her into a small wave of hysterics, and as she clings to me ever tighter, I know something is terribly wrong.

We trip into the sitting room and somehow manage to find the couch.

For a moment we just hold each other and the only sound is her tears. They hurt me so much that they seem to echo off the walls of my heart, sending shock waves coursing through my veins.

"Minerva," I whisper. "What is it?"

She is a strong woman, and this shows when she tries to calm herself enough to answer me. However, seeing her in so much pain only makes me realize just how much this hurts her more than me.

I press two fingers to her lips gently in hopes to relax her. She gazes at me with those gorgeous emerald orbs that begin to drown again. She hands me the letter and walks to her bedroom, unable to take anymore at the moment.

I unfold the crinkled document and begin to read.

_Minerva McGonagall,_

_It is at my most unfortunate displeasure that I should inform you of a vandalism on your property in the area of Northern Scotland._

_Details of the damage can be found on the enclosed report, but in short I can personally say that it is completely and totally demolished._

_I also regret to inform you that your mother is in critical condition in the hospital in the South of the area. The perpetrators first broke in of the late night and now she is suffering from near fatal wounds…_

I choke back a heavy sob as I decide to stop reading. Enough is enough, and right now all I want to do is hold Minerva.

It is in times like these that I can fully justify our relationship. Gone are my fears and reservations, and my ideas change entirely. In a world where there is so much hate for one another, how can two people who are truly and honestly in love ever be wrong?

I lay down behind Minerva and wrap my arm around her waist to caress her hand clutched near her chest. I kiss her shoulder gently and at this point, no words that I can possibly muster will bring my sad lover any peace.

Instead I wait for her to open up. "You know, my father built that home with his own hands, and he died protecting it and his family during Grindelwald's dark hours."

Again, I have no idea what will console this woman, so she continues on.

"I am about to lose everything from which I came," she sobs quietly.

I whisper in her ear softly. "Then let me share mine with you."

She understands what I am asking of her, and the tears slowly stop their sad flow. "If it means that much to you," she replies rolling over to face me. "Then it means that much to me, too."

At this, both of us smile lovingly at one another. But there is still one matter to clear up. "What about your mother?" I ask, wiping the remaining tears from her face.

She sighs. "I should like to be there with her in her final hours," she says as her eyes well up once more.

I smile, in hopes of cheering her up. "I really want to meet her," I giggle. "The woman who gave birth to this amazingly gorgeous creature."

She looks me in the eyes, and for a single moment, I can almost see her pain fade as she finds some joy in us.

She kisses me.

Not like any other kiss we have ever shared, but one that tells each other that we will always be there for the other.

And we make love. Not like any love I have ever experienced. It is slow, and it is savored while the pair of us drink in the other with a thirst unquenchable.

…There can be no greater feeling in this world…

**AN2: This story will have many highs and lows, and I hope you all stick with me throughout it, since it will be long. :) **

**Much love,**

**Ashton**


	3. The Letter

Dear Readers,

I know that author's notes are supposed to be tagged to a chapter, but rules be damned. I have been sleeping on this decision for over a week now, and I decided I couldn't put it off any longer. I am, as formally as internet posting can allow, announcing my retirement from writing fanfiction.

I haven't had much inspiration as of, well, at all, and it is really starting to take its toll on me…and, much to my dismay, it would seem my writing as well. A lack of response to recent works has not disheartened me, but it has only confirmed my thoughts. With my senior year around the corner, I don't feel that I will have the time or the energy to keep up with my stories. Then college will follow soon after, and I am attending an Ivy League campus, double majoring, and playing volleyball as well. Herein lies my problem, and I fear there is no way around it.

This fiction shall be my last posted work, as it will take everything in me just to pour it out onto paper. I would gladly leave you all in the small MMHG world my unfinished works, but I feel that they would be more of a burden than a gift.

I can wish every single one of you reading this letter nothing but my best, as you all have offered me your support from the beginning. I hope that all of you continue to write all that you do in the quality that you do. Not enough people out there can look past the fact that it is Minerva/Hermione to realize how beautiful we band of shippers write it…Out of all the fanfiction that I have ever read, I can honestly say that this group is one I was extremely proud to be a part of…You all write things twice as difficult as any other pairing out there, and your work is at least twice as better, if not more.

It was a blessing to hear from all of you while I wrote my fics, but in the end I can only write what is in my heart, and right now there is not a lot there to write about. It is not sad, but I find it extremely taxing to write happy romance stories when you have nothing to pull from at the time. Angst is usually my genre to write, but it proves to be just as difficult anymore.

I used to be happy when I finished something, but now I really only have a sad ache inside when it comes to a close. It is not because I didn't enjoy writing it, but because with every story I finish another little chapter of my life turns a page and not often is it for the better…This is why "Into a World of Hidden Dreams" remains untouched, and I cannot apologize enough to those of you waiting on its end…I don't know if one will ever come.

Hermin22, es steht fest, dass ich dir helfen werde…Du sollst das wissen…;) Ich wünsche dir viel Glück, aber du brauchst es nicht! Wenn du schreibst, freue ich mich, und es werde immer mich freuen!! Ich liebe dich!

I love every single one of you, and I will always be there to support you and your work, even as the miles separate us indefinitely…

All my love,

Ashton Marie Kelsay


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